I don't depend on you anymore. Fokina N.

The word "co -dependence" is alarming. He gives involved in trouble, suggests not free, subordination, oppression of the spirit, dull and sad life.

In recent years, this until recently little -known term suddenly gained strength. The co -dependence was spoke from television screens and pages of popular publications - scientists, journalists, healers, people wise with experience...

What is co -dependence, what does it have to relation to me and my life, how to deal with it and is it necessary? - Here are the questions that more and more people ask himself today. So, it is time to figure out everything.

The least of all, we notice what every day is before our eyes. Our own reactions, habits, views on ourselves and the world - like varied boots, do not squeeze - and okay. We do not expose them to the revision, we do not evaluate critically until... the notorious fried rooster will peck in a sensitive place. And when it pecks, we will appoint him guilty. After all, someone should be guilty of our misfortunes, unfulfilled expectations, resentment, problems and other troubles!

, in itself, this approach to life today will not surprise anyone-it is so widely common. Meanwhile, he is a problem, one of the results of what psychologists call so -dependent behavior.

a few years ago it seemed obvious: the co -dependent are deeply attached to their unfortunate relatives and live, professing high rules of philanthropy, like : “Loven ones need to help”, “You can’t throw a person in trouble”, “You can always reach a person”, “True love suffers everything” - before these formulations I want to bow out respectfully, if... ah, this is an eternal “if”! Beautiful declarations have not saved anyone. But they destroyed many hopes for happiness. What are the hopes - life!

But a strange thing: it is worth these good compassionate people to free themselves from the need to drag one “cross”, as they immediately take upon themselves a new one, it is not at all easier than the previous one. < /p>

co -dependent - do not think of their life separately, cannot separate themselves from another, to realize their share of responsibility for what is happening - this is a key feature. They are responsible "for everything" and for nothing exactly. They are in dire need of constant approval and support - otherwise they cannot feel satisfaction. They sometimes show miracles of selflessness, patience, fidelity, sacrifice and even heroism, but at the same time they feel... martyrs, saints hired to fulfill someone's whims and whims. So -dependent people see the reason for their dysfunction exclusively in each other.